


Almost

by Chiefette_Lily



Category: Pan (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 19:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6090883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiefette_Lily/pseuds/Chiefette_Lily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The saddest word<br/>In the whole wide world<br/>Is the word almost<br/>He was almost in love.<br/>She was almost good enough for him.<br/>He almost stopped her.<br/>She almost waited.<br/>He almost lived.<br/>They almost made it.<br/>- Nikita Gill</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost

Captain James Hook was standing on the deck of the Jolly Roger. He had lowered his ship into the water of a secluded cove far from the native’s village and the mermaids; he wanted to be well hidden from any prying eyes. He had left the village with the intention to travel world, but now, he hesitated; he had begged Peter and Tiger Lily to come with him even if they could only stay beside him for a while, but they had refused. He understood that Neverland was their home, but the two of them had become his; their refusal lodged itself between his ribs like a bullet. For the moment, the only thing on his mind was Tiger Lily. And so he stood alone on the worn wood of the ship watching the water beat against the hull as he raked over the details of his unconventional relationship with the tribal princess.

He was almost in love. At least, he believed it was love; he wasn’t quit sure about it. He felt something or rather he felt the beginning of something. Stirrings of warmth and thoughts of a happy future swirled in his mind when looked at her; it wasn’t love yet, but it almost was. They were dancing around each other; he understood that much at least. Neither was willing to take to the final steps, so the dance continued over and over; the beating rhythms of their hearts never quite falling into tune with the other's.

She was almost good enough for him. In Hook’s mind, Tiger Lily was a better person than him; he couldn’t begin to compare to her. She was kindhearted and mothering while he was selfish and distant. Although a warrior at heart, Tiger Lily was patient, and her patience was a cool contrast to his hot-headed impulsive nature. They wanted different things from life. She wanted to see her home free of Blackbeard’s influence; she wanted to see her people safe, and the fairies roaming freely once more. He wanted to see the world; he wanted all the things that he had been denied in the mines. He knew she wouldn’t follow him; she had promises to keep and a lost boy to fuss over, but he had asked her to run away with him again anyway.

He almost stopped her. Hours ago he had planned to leave Neverland, but then she had visited him on the deck of the Jolly Roger; he needed time to collect himself before he left the island for good. Moments before he had left, she was there waiting. Hook let himself feel hopeful for a brief minute; then, he saw the look in her eyes. There was no need for words to have been exchanged in the air between them; they had never needed them. He could read every minuscule emotion in her eyes, and she could read his. He stepped toward her; she didn’t move. He reached for her; she didn’t move. He placed his hands on her cheeks and pressed his lips against hers; she lunged forward wrapping her arms around him with all of her strength. Their kiss left them gasping for air. They stood wrapped up in each other before she stepped back just enough to look at him. “Will you come back?” she had asked; he pulled her to his chest and buried his face in her hair. “I don’t know” he whispered, and he wished it weren’t the truth; he wished he knew what he wanted. She pushed herself away and walked toward the ramp, but before she left she turned back to him. He took his time studying Tiger Lily’s face imprinting her high cheekbones and green eyes into his memory. He had almost reached out to keep her from leaving. He had contemplated locking her in his cabin, but she would never have forgiven him if he had. Besides, he’d be a fool if he thought he could keep a wild girl locked in a gilded cage. He let her go.

She almost waited. He saw it in her eyes when she turned back to him. She hesitated. Lips parted, hair flying in breeze, poised on her toes like bird about to lift into flight, she was never more beautiful to him than in that moment; he felt the warmth again and saw flashes of the life he might have created with her. One word from him was all it would have taken, and she would have followed him to the ends of the earth. One word from her was all it would have taken, and he would have thrown his water stained maps into the wind. He was almost in love, and one word might have pulled him over the edge. The wind died down and she turned away and the moment was gone. 

He almost lived. Hook pulled himself out of his thoughts and made the final preparations for the jump out of Neverland. He was leaving, and he doubted he would ever make it back. He was letting the potential love of his life slip through his fingers like grains of sand. He closed his eyes, counted to ten, breathed in, and let the memories escape into the jungle air. He took his place at the helm and lifted the Jolly Roger away from the island. He took one last longing look at Neverland; he was leaving a part of himself to die on the island. The part of him that loved Tiger Lily would stay behind and dissipate into nothing as the years passed, but still he hoped that a part of him would stay with her if only so he could have an excuse to return. He was almost in love, but almost wasn’t enough. He almost stopped her, and she almost waited. They almost made it.


End file.
